I am with That Hotdog and Letting Go…Just a Bit!

The end of the school year is here and I am faced with the end of Elementary School for my daughter, Reese.  I can’t believe it is here and it seemed like yesterday we were watching her kindergarten graduation. How can that be possible?  Where did the time go? Am I dreaming?

Reese, my middle child, fits the profile of the ‘middle child’ in so many ways: peacemaker, loyal to peers, secretive and maybe even-keel.  I have been reading a book called, “The Birth Order Book” by Dr. Kevin Leman.  I will just say that this book is very interesting.  It will give you insight not only to your children, but your spouse and friends, etc.  I love what Leman says about ‘middles’, “I’m not alone in saying that middle children are a mystery.”  This refers to the fact that these middle child profiles are sometimes contradictory depending on the family dynamics.  Well, MY middle child does seem to have certain mysterious qualities about her!

I guess I am referring to the secretive ways she will go about her ‘business’.  Now, she is very open with us, but there is sneakiness to some things.  For example, you might find a candy stash in her room at any moment.  Another example, you may take her to get an ice cream shake and then later she has talked her dad into a trip to Baskin Robbins.  It is no secret that this girl loves food (a girl after my own heart)!  She has enjoyed more of an adult palate, has eaten a variety of food for years and really gets a good tug by her sweet tooth.  Reese has been called out by her friends as ‘happily swinging her legs’ during lunch at school.  She eats with glee.

As a middle child, Reese has found her niche as the family comedienne.  Loves a good joke.  Can seriously take a joke. Thrives on funny banter.  We can count on her to be the object of a fun prank, and then she can laugh about it almost immediately.  When she ran for a student council position this year, she loved the slogan:  A Treat You Can’t Beat – Vote 4 Reese.   Then wore a hotdog costume for her campaign poster picture!  One of my favorite pics is a picture of the two of us and I have a sign that says: I am with THAT hotdog!

I'm with THAT Hotdog!

Reese can be the peacemaker, but then also take sides in sibling argument exhibitions.  You may not know which side she will take at any given moment.  Then she will find herself in trouble for interjecting an objection or an alibi for one sibling.  It is all in the life of a Simpson, you truly never know what you will get. 

We all have our faults, and certainly in my house we have a few volumes of faults that anyone could file into different categories.  I try to teach my kids-and remind myself-that we can take our faults and use them to grow.  We are all different and this is a good thing!  I do have one question, why am I the one who must kill a bug when the kids find one?  I thought they would outgrow this!  I want some ‘sameness’ here.  Don’t be afraid.

With all seriousness, I do love and appreciate the differences of my three children.  Reese can be so caring and thoughtful.  I can often see her wheels turning in her head and then she will tell me something profound, sweet or funny.  I love the way she thinks and her expressions on her sweet face.  Reese also seems to have a way with animals.  It is funny that our dog and cat react to her differently than the others.  Reese does not rough-house with them and they are gentler with her.  I love her tenacious mentality when she is not able to do something well.  She makes up her mind and keeps working.  Reese is not perfect in this category and has experienced a few meltdowns.  But I have seen her grow.  She is a horse-lover (gets that honest, sorry Mr. Lizzard), and has come so far in her riding.

I am not sure what the Lord has planned for this child.  With each of my kids, I pray for them as they grow.  I want them to be confident in the Lord and want what God wants in their life.  Our job is to teach them, love and protect them. 

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. -Proverbs 22:6

It is so hard to do so often!  I struggle in this parenthood job more than any other job I have ever had.  This brings me back to why I am so weepy when they finish significant chapters in their little lives.  Each time they start a new chapter, I have to let go just a little.  It feels so hard to protect these kids when they are a little more independent.  Not just independent as they can get dressed and brush their hair and use the microwave, but independent from needing me. They don’t need me as much to have long conversations or play.  I need to keep reminding myself that they will always need me.  Unconditional love is what I have.  Just as the Father loves me in the crappy, goofy, sinful ways I exist, I love them.  Always.

So cheers to you Moms and Dads out there that become a little sappy with every new chapter!  We are kin in this way.  I will cry.  I always do.  (First and foremost, I am not as much of a hugger as I am a CRYER.  Know this.) I tear up.  There is joy in this!  I remind myself to focus on the future.  I wrote Reese a letter last night.  At the end I told her,

“Daddy and I love you and we are very proud of you.  We are so excited to see what God has planned for you.  Don’t think there is no plan, God has one.  Pray about it and seek His Will in your life.   He has claimed you here:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. –Jeremiah 29:11”

This is Big Joy. 

With Joy,

Tracey   

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Spring Mom Teetering on Epic Fail

Finally, SPRING!

Ah, spring is here and the flowers are finally blooming!  Here in the Mid-South, we are having some warm weather as well!  With spring, comes the wrapping up of all-things-kid. It’s the end of activities, the end of school, and the end of a small era.

Unfortunately for me, this causes great grief and sadness.  Why?  Well, I am always sad to see my kids grow a bit older.  The bigger reason is I just cannot seem to balance all that I am ‘supposed’ to balance:  deadlines, performances, field trips, gifts, cards, forms, planning for summer, laundry.  Actually, laundry stays on the Can’t Deal list.  It is like I am in a giant funnel and I have one foot in and one foot out!

I laugh out loud at many awesome women that are bloggers and writers and seem to feel the same.  Jen Hatmaker and Kay Wyma are two that have floored me recently as if they read my mind.  My mouth fell open as I read and know that I am not alone.  Honestly, there is no one to blame and it is part of life.  Teachers from school and activities are ending their year.  I love teachers dearly and they do not get paid enough for all they do.  They have lots to do and are trying to finish strong and make a few things fun for the kids.

Why is it so hard for me to juggle it all?  I am not that September mom.  I am not coming off of a long summer with longing for a structured schedule for my kids.  I am no longer eager for new school supplies and a fresh start for my kids.  I am weary from multi-tasking and running crazy and asking, “Have you done your homework?”  I can’t seem to remember to sign folders and secretly hope my husband checked that box.  “What day?” “What time does it start?”  “The deadline is tomorrow?!!?”  These are the things coming out of my mouth.  My daily prayer is for organization and priorities.  I think I need priorities for my priorities!

If you have more than 3 kids, I honestly don’t know how you do it.  I am outnumbered, big time.  I feel I could be on a commercial, “Two out of three Simpson kids have clean socks.  Don’t be a Simpson, be organized.”  It is triple-threat around here.  We have some kids who throw out all rules of basic this-sort-of-goes-together fashion.  We have kids who have grown about 3 inches either in height or shoes.  We need haircuts and I don’t know when to fit them in!  You may see us coming, a Muppet family of shaggy hobos.

My recent email to my child’s teacher was a Step One in admitting I have a problem.  Of course I had to apologize as well.  I realized I was a super-slacker and missing some things.  It went like this:

“Firstly, I must say that I am now NOT the mom I was back in the fall (not that I was awesome).  I am slowly losing my mind, my will, and my time.  I can’t seem to remember much with all of the chaos of ‘end of year’ approaching—that encompassing both school and other activities!  I am happy to say I am not losing my sense of humor, I find I must laugh at myself daily and the mess I seem to dredge through and cook on high heat.

This is not a surprise to me, as the alter-ego version of the ‘school mom’ rears its ugly head about the same time each year.  You would think I could be prepared for this, but alas, no.  So, I am apologizing for my lack of attention to detail.  I guess admitting this is the first step, right?  Forgive me and I will do my best to keep my head above water for these next few weeks.”

Of course she was super sweet and made me feel better about my shortcomings.

So I will march on, ya’ll.  I will keep on getting up before my kids to have my quiet time.  That keeps me the most sane, I promise. 

One of my distractions each morning during my early quiet time

I will continue to plug in everything I can into my calendar and set 40 reminders to go off on both my computer and email.  I will do my best to avoid the teetering on the small ‘epic fail’ that seems to follow me like a shadow.  If I forget, give me some grace.  Summer is coming, thank goodness!

With Joy,

Tracey

To read the blog posts I mentioned, click the links:

 Jen Hatmaker: http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2013/05/30/worst-end-of-school-year-mom-ever

Kay Wyma: http://www.themoatblog.com/2014/05/mayday-mayday-one-moms-adrift/

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Oh and I have not even started in my flower beds!!!
Thank goodness for independent growth!