Thoughts on a Birthday

I realize that one of my last posts was a bulleted list of thoughts.  I have been shameful on here and have not had a post in months.  I promised myself that I will get back to this more frequently.  I said, “Self, it is a good outlet for all of your random thoughts. Get back on it.”  Unlike some people in my house, I did not roll my eyes at what I said. 

I thought this was a brilliant capture of me around age 4.
I am sneaking around in a garage trying to grab an animal and love it and
squeeze it.  Poor kitty. Oh how I loved animals...

There is reflection on some things that have changed or have become more noticeable in the last year or two.  So here are some random thoughts from today, which is actually my birthday.  I was born on Lincoln’s Birthday and two days before Valentine’s Day so that makes it easy for loved ones to remember.  Ha ha.  One would think…

Birthday thoughts and this season of life:

1.      Birthdays keep coming

2.      I guess #1 is a good thing because it means I am still here.

3.      Two out of three kids recommend reminders of a parent’s birthday because they can’t remember it.

4.      My dog and cat may love me the most around here (I live with some middle school kids, people).

5.      The laundry and dust bunnies don’t stop for birthdays.  Bless the laundry and those dust bunnies.  It means I have some people and creatures living here.

6.      In fact, attitude does not stop for birthdays.  See #4.

7.      I realize I need readers, stretching, good shoes (read: great insoles), sleep and patience MORE than I did a year or so ago.

8.      Adolescent hormones can really be a ‘Debbie Downer’ on most days.  Who are these Jekyll-Hyde people anyway?

9.      Friday’s tend to arrive with a big sigh of relief…until you get the social agenda of your Adolescents.  Why am I traded more now as a Chauffeur instead of a movie night buddy?

10. In the past year I have used so many passwords on tablets, computers, accounts, televisions, iPods and other things that plug in or use batteries.  I am seriously depleting ideas.  Please send me some new passwords.

11. I think my doctor roster has expanded. So has my need for vitamins.

12. I view appliances –both large and small—as an army of steel support staff.  This year I have had a hard time keeping my staff.  They have quit on me.  Big ones.  Shhh, don’t tell the refrigerator.

13. My stretch ‘Adolescent Social Hauler’ is known as The Beast.  The Beast is 9 and needs to keep with me just a few years longer.  I love The Beast more now than I did before.  It had a bad run with a giant buck on the interstate last fall. It saved me but needed many repairs.  The Beast is good and accommodates all of those growing long legs, extra friends, carpool and miscellaneous gear that must be carted around for three kids and the family.

14. Living in the ‘selfie generation’, none of my kids will take selfies with me.  I really don’t ask unless I have on makeup.  I am prepared but ultimately shut down. #Ineedpics

15. I crave wisdom more now.  I look to books, wise counsel (including our parents!), prayer and God’s Word.  Oh boy, parenting will really get you into some wisdom-searching, won’t it? While I am definitely flawed, I am certainly gonna work on things.  Like Lysa Terkeurst says in her book, The Best Yes, I am going to “show up to practice.”  Wisdom is hard work.  I need to practice it every single day.

16. I find I need to verbalize why I am grateful all the time.  Early this morning, I wrote in my journal three things of gratitude for today.  Here is what I wrote:

1)     Glad for birthdays so I can be grateful.

2)     Glad for the gift of family and friends who pray for me and love me.

3)     Glad for God’s love and The Word to guide me.

Until we read again, safe travels on your journey today.  May you find a moment to get your readers out, avoid some hormones and reflect on a bit of gratitude.

Me and my pony Duchess.  Circa maybe 5th grade.
Animal lover, horse lover.
Did not always love the brother in the background when he bothered me.
The days of sibling aggravation--you were always  one step away from getting punished.
Love you, Bro!

With Joy,

Tracey

“The Lord makes firm steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.” – Psalm 37:23-24

To learn more about the book I mentioned, go to http://thebestyes.com/

Or check out Lysa TerKeurst’s Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/OfficialLysa

Stay In It

A Sunflower from my Garden, but I have not done much gardening recently!

Have you ever looked up and realized that time has just flown by you like a mosquito swatter on a hot Southern day?  That is how I feel about the past few months. I think it is just the result of having a few kids and hitting the ‘Tween’ and ‘Teen’ stages of their lives.  I swear I was just feeling like I was sequestered from the world in my house with a newborn, 18-month-old and a 3-year-old!  I was just there and those days seemed to really drag out, but seemed to be a blur at the same time.  Now my three kids are 13, 12 and 10.  What?  Slow down. Wait a minute.  Sit for a spell.

Ah housekeeping.  Never done.  Max, don't act like
you have not seen this before--I use it all the time!

Time flies so fast that some things fall by the roadside of life around here.  I have been beating myself up for not being able to complete various projects in my mental ‘To Do’ list since the summer.  Clean out things.  Find things.  File things. Paint things. Re-purpose things. Read things. Curtains.  Well, I need some more curtains. Anyway, here we are in mid-October.  The summer was great but school started way too quickly for my tastes.  The first day of school meant back to homework and activities and pounding an iron fist about studying and getting up earlier.  I think it is an added bonus that I have three kids in three different schools right now.  I have been frustrated.  I have felt hindered (not just with my ‘list’ but in the training of these kids and the preparing them). So with all the changes I have wondered, “What have I learned?”  I have decided to make a list of ‘Things’ I have learned in the past few months.

Here goes.  In the past few months I have learned:

• That I am reaffirmed in the fact that parenting will keep you on your knees…in prayer.
• That adolescent girls (and boys) have somewhat of a Jekyll-Hyde personality – like a viper snake on the turn of a dime.
• That just because at bedtime a kid says he wants a homemade breakfast burrito for breakfast the next day does not mean he wants it 8 hours later.  You gotta think on your feet.
• That sometimes I make my bed on school mornings and want to crawl back in.
• That I appreciate all the Algebra, Trigonometry and Calculus classes…that my husband took.  He helps my teen and is my hero.
• That according to my kids, I am always trying to “hide” their shoes from them.
• That singing Reggae and doing ‘The Running Man’ dance move at 6:30 am does not help my teen get up.
• That I need to cherish my 5^th grader who still wants me to come eat lunch with her everyday…before she turns into a viper snake.
• That I know very little and my teen knows everything else (he forgets I have been there).
• That I really can get up at 5:30 am on school days to have quiet time…before the chaos.
• That juggling multiple kids at this age is like a 3-ring circus.  I have clowns, bears and monkeys. You can think of the pros but I know the cons.
• That kids and electronic devices play out like a saga from Star Wars. The Dark Side can put up a good fight, wielding words or complaints with Light Saber speed and ability.  May The Force be with you.
• That carpools are the true gifts that you would never really know how much you love…til now.
• That I am cool.  I really am.  Someone please let my kids know.
• That the time your child comes back to you and says, “You were right, Mom” about something big… well, that is like getting a pay raise.

I know I have learned more than just this short list.  I am sure it will all come back to me like a boomerang hitting me mid-forehead.  You have to laugh at the things in life that seem to be frustrating or hindrances.  Like bad behavior, for example.  I won’t go on my soap box but I hope I can look back and laugh at some of these.  None of us are perfect and we live in a fallen world.  It is like I told my son, “Look, all of you guys in 8^th grade…you are all doofuses. But I was one too.  We all were.  It is a part of growing and learning.  It is awkward being a kid sometimes.”  What I did not tell him- it is awkward being an adult sometimes!  We never quit learning.

So with all the hindrances we all encounter, we learn.  Some are good or just not necessarily bad.  Trials are trials and everyone goes through a hard time here and there.  Some days I feel like I am treading water and not making a good time on free-style swimming.  Heck, some days I am swimming against the current!  I find comfort in the promise of keeping my faith despite tough times, and this will teach me true patience and the ability to endure (James 1:2-3).  I love this quote from Beth Moore I ran across this week:  “If Jesus gives us a task or assigns us to a difficult season, every ounce of our experience is meant for our instruction and completion if only we will let him finish the work…”  I like to say, “Stay in it!”  That is one of my favorite expressions lately.  Press on.  Meanwhile, I will take any offered cages for my snakes, bears and monkeys.

With Joy,

Tracey

“…As difficult as they are, you will ultimately find joy in them; if you embrace them, your faith will blossom under pressure and teach you true patience as you endure. And true patience brought on by endurance will equip you to complete the long journey and cross the finish line—mature, complete, and wanting nothing.” –James 1:2-4 (VOICE)

 

My sweet dog, Chopper.  Waiting to play.

It’s Like a Box of Chocolates—You Never Know What You Are Gonna Get.

Spray paint metallic silver, on street, house, mailbox and play jeep.

Take a ballpoint pen and write his name on the back of the headrest in my car.

Put clear tape all over the bathroom toilet ad write ‘button labels’ on them with a Sharpie.

Use a Sharpie and write on his hand-painted corkboard.

Stuff a half-eaten bag of popcorn in the bottom of his closet (inside a backpack)

And the classic, swallow a dime—I think twice, in his younger days.

 I am in the process of reading a book called, “What’s He Really Thinking?” by Paula Rinehart.  It is a book by a Christian Author that gives you a peek into a Man’s psyche, how they think, why they do what they do, and what they struggle with.   I have been married for over 15 years to a wonderful man and I also have a son.  When considering this book I thought, “Why not?”

The book is very interesting and I host a small group of women in my home every few weeks to discuss a chapter in the book.  We all seem to bring something to the discussion of either an epiphany or a fun story.  It has been amazing to read what Rinehart unfolds from her days as a counselor and how she explains how God intended a man to work.  Then she throws in the role of a woman.  I love what she says, “We are better able to love what we understand.  And loving and being loved is the main way we reflect the glory of God.”

This brings me to my oldest child, my son Walker.  This book does give me some insight on my little man.  The statements at the beginning of this post are just some of his shenanigans.  One of the first things Rinehart says in her book confirms what I was thinking but could not verbalize:

Why do they do things?  Because they can…

Well, I just love that.  As annoying as it can be, it is how he is made.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I get uber frustrated with my little man.  We do butt heads….often.  I love that child with a love that I could not understand before he came.  It is a love that reflects Our Father’s love for us, as imperfect as we are.  How creative God must be that he gave us children that are not exact copies of us! 

So our challenge as parents is to guide our kids and teach our kids.  We are commanded to do so (Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Prov. 22:6)!  I do feel like my work is cut out for me.  I keep thinking, “God, you must have something really special in store if I survive parenting them!”   Truth is, we all have our challenges, our trials, our problems.  Our job is how we handle and persevere through them.  We were not promised an easy life, but help with it. 

With our children, everyday seems to bring something new.  All three have totally different personalities.  That is so weird when you really think about it.  You would think two out of three would be similar.  But no, distinct differences.  Nothing is boring at our house.  Always something stirring….somewhere.  It may be a project, it may be some sibling drama, it may be a sneaky child, it may be laughter-soon-to-be-fighting sounds.  The list goes on.

Today is a special day, because we have it.  Today is Walker’s 11^th birthday.  He is my own little Honey Badger…he just wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it.  Walker is full of life, full of funnies, full of ideas….full of all sorts of sounds and sound-effects.   He is Walker.  He marches to his own beat, and I love that.  I love him.  He does make us laugh.  Walker brings something new to the table all the time.  I know that Forrest Gump was talking about life in his famous line but I like to think he was talking about my little man….

“….It’s like a box of chocolates….you never know what you’re gonna get.”

On My Case.

My son is a curious little man.  Ten years old, he is a dude that walks to the beat of his own drum.  This is a very good thing, mind you.  It just sometimes really really challenges me to hold my tongue.  Tries my patience. He is similar to me in the fact he loves to take in all things all around at times, and is distracted.  This makes for a very hard morning routine when you are trying to get your kids out to school.  Mornings seem to start good and end badly when my voice is finally raised up after asking him 5 times to get on the next thing (like brushing the mop-hair)!
Recently, I received some great advice and we have put that new program into action.  The first night my husband and I sat down and explained how school nights would go and how mornings would go.  We explained what would happen.  It goes something like this:  Shower at night, bag ready, homework done, shoes found.  ALL equals to precious TV time before bed.  Mornings:  one wake up and breakfast request.  One warning from kitchen that breakfast is almost ready.  Nothing else.  No nagging.  No yelling.  No reminding.  You must walk out of our house at 8:27 am on dot.  Otherwise, you will miss that bus.  If bus is missed, you will WAIT for Mom to finish getting dressed (no rushing her) and getting herself ready.  Then you will check in to school up to 15 minutes late.  You may miss 15 minutes of recess or have to do some laps at the beginning.
My son absorbs all of this information.  His mouth drops open.  I explain that this will be good because of 'no more yelling' and telling you over and over to get with it!  He actually says he is not sure he can do it.  I blew it all off and said, "Of course you can!!  You are 10 years old!!!".  My son leaves the room.  Clint looks at me and says, "This will never work."  We laughed.
The next morning....actually WENT WELL.  He was good with it.  He made it.  I had no yelling.  I felt that my blood pressure was stable and normal.  I called my friend Amy and was astonished.  Awe.  Now, that being all said, we have had a few mornings of coming close to missing the bus.  One morning the hair did not get brushed.  He looked like the bedhead fairy really did a number on the noggin!
So after a few days, Clint and I asked him how he thought it was going.  Clint said, "How does it feel?  Mom is not on your case that much!"
Walker replied, "I think I want her back on my case."